Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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