i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
