he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
