i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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