3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
