Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Randomize
