after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
