Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
