I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
