Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
