I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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