did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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