never play flip cup with pint glasses
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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