somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
