I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize