Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
