Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
