What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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