TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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