Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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