Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
