and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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