bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
