I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
