Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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