is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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