so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
