I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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