you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
