this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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