2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
