just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
