is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
