or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
