unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
