Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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