What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize