I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
