I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
