no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
