My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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