I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
