I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
