She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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