Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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