what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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