Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
