dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
