sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just googled if crying burns calories
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
