She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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