i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
