is your mom at the bar?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
