DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
