you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
