Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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