how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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