i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
