Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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