I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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