how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
