Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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