The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I believe in your delicious
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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