sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
