life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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