is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize