this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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