My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
