Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
