why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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