Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize