i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
