dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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