This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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