And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
