yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
