Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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