How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
